Just be.
Until recently, I had been very proactive in trying to improve my life, clear away the clutter, and take a highly active tack on parenting. I read and wrote lots of blog posts, and tried to implement the ideas found there into my life.
Then we lost the baby.
As my few meager posts recently will attest, more important things have been at the forefront of my thoughts. I play on the floor with my toddler more. I really talk to my wife more, sit by her on the couch. I enjoy family phone calls and lunchtime walks with my friends. I went on a trip to Seattle to visit with friends and enjoy a great hobby.
There’s nothing wrong with reading and writing about life, as long as you’re still living it. And for a while I wasn’t really. I was following all the steps of having a life, but wasn’t really experiencing it.
But there is something wrong with getting caught up in the trends of today and overrunning your own desires, which is what I seem to have been doing. Sure I would like my house to be less messy, but not as much as I like cuddling up with my wife to watch Heroes. I want to have perfectly filed bills and papers, but not as much as playing trucks and trains with my toddler.
Sometimes you have to let go of the self-imposed improvements, and just be.
That’s what I’m working on now…
